Benjamin L. Corey

Benjamin L. Corey

BLC is an author, speaker, scholar, and global traveler, who holds graduate degrees in Theology & Intercultural Studies from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, and received his doctorate in Intercultural Studies from Fuller. He is the author of Undiluted: Rediscovering the Radical Message of Jesus, and Unafraid: Moving Beyond Fear-Based Faith.

10 Things I’d Rather Do Than See The New Left Behind Movie

If you haven't already seen it, the trailer for the new Left Behind movie is out! (see bottom of post) Folks have been asking if I'm looking forward to seeing and reviewing the movie, so I decided to be completely honest and let you know how I actually feel about this situation:

If you haven’t already seen it, the trailer for the new Left Behind movie is out! (See bottom of post). Folks have been asking if I’m looking forward to seeing and reviewing the movie, so I decided to be completely honest and let you know how I actually feel about this situation:

 

10 things I’d rather do than see the new Left Behind movie

 

10. I’d rather take a picture of my shoes while standing here:

Yes, this dude is standing on top of the Burj Khalifa, the tallest building in the world. If you find me here, it’s only because I was faced with two choices: stand on top of the building, or watch the movie.

9. I’d rather head on over to the DMV to get my license renewed.

And when I’d go, I’d hold the door open to let the five people from behind me jump ahead. I’m thoughtful like that. I could always download some episodes of 19 Kids and Counting to my iPad to pass the time.

8. I’d rather go cave diving.

As much as it pains me to admit it, this one is a tough call. Cave diving might be cool and all when watching the Discovery Chanel, but yikes… just the thought of it almost makes me suffocate. But when forced to pick between this and watching the movie? I’ll go with diving.

7. I’d rather attend the 22nd annual pre-trib rapture study group conference.

Yes, the conference is a real thing. It’s in Irving, Texas this year (yipppee!) and you can reserve your spot, here. Why watch the movie when you can be around people who live and breathe it in real life?

6. I’d rather open a business training feral cats.

Let’s just say, I’d rather be staring at this face than Nicolas Cage.

5. I’d rather try to convince my wife she should get this year’s bathing suit from “Cover Up For Christ

This one wouldn’t be too immodest, would it? Hopefully they can alter it to be a little bit longer.

4. I’d rather try out that venomous ant initiation ceremony.

They say it actually makes you have some cool hallucinations, and it’s not even illegal, so why not?

3. I’d rather become a missionary to Vanuatu and be initiated like this:

Why go bungee jumping when you can try the real thing that lets your head hit the ground when you land?

2. I’d rather get a Kim Jong-un haircut.

Side note: for some reason, every time I see Kim Jong-un, I imagine that he has the voice of Cartman.

1. I’d rather get a job working for Dave Ramsey.

Yup, I’d rather work for the dude who is completely losing his mind. If you’ve missed it, my friend Matthew Paul Turner has an excellent piece that will open your eyes.

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So, yeah– those are ten things off the top of my mind that I’d rather do than see this new Left Behind movie. But alas, I will still go see it– but only because I am dedicated to my work. However, I can’t promise that I won’t sneak a flask into the movie theater with me.

Here’s the trailer to the movie in case you’ve missed it:

Join the discussion on Facebook & in the comments below:

Books from BLC:

It's not the end of the world, but it's pretty #@&% close. Trump's America & Franklin Graham's Christianity must be resisted.

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Benjamin L. Corey

BLC is a cultural anthropologist, public theologian, writer, speaker, global traveler, and tattoo collector. He is a two-time graduate of Gordon-Conwell with graduate degrees in Theology & Intercultural Studies, and went on to receive his doctorate in Intercultural Studies from Fuller. He is the author of Unafraid: Moving Beyond Fear-Based Faith, and Undiluted: Rediscovering the Radical Message of Jesus. In addition to his blog, Formerly Fundie, his work has been regularly featured by a wide array of media outlets such as TIME magazine and CNN, among others.

BLC

Benjamin L. Corey

BLC is a cultural anthropologist, public theologian, writer, speaker, global traveler, and tattoo collector. He is a two-time graduate of Gordon-Conwell with graduate degrees in Theology & Intercultural Studies, and went on to receive his doctorate in Intercultural Studies from Fuller. He is the author of Unafraid: Moving Beyond Fear-Based Faith, and Undiluted: Rediscovering the Radical Message of Jesus. In addition to his blog, Formerly Fundie, his work has been regularly featured by a wide array of media outlets such as TIME magazine and CNN, among others.

Maybe it's not the end of the world...

Days
Hours
Minutes
Seconds

But let's be honest-- this is pretty #$@%! close.

Trump's America
&
Franklin Graham's Christianity must be resisted.

Join the fight: Subscribe to new posts and updates from BLC:

It might not be the end of the world...

But let's be honest-- this is pretty #$@%! close.

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What you think

Post Comments:

  • HappyCat says:

    I love fantasy, horror, science fiction, and the work of Nicolas Cage. It might be a decent movie seen in that light.

  • Sirjoyful says:

    I’d rather re-read the books as comedy. At least I could burn them when I was done

  • It has Nicholas Cage in it, that’s a good enough reason to see it 🙂

  • Ruaidrí Ó Domhnaill says:

    So, what’s the difference between the movie and the pre-trib study group?
    I’m right there with you on most of the rest, though… except the cave-diving. no way in hell I’m going cave diving, but I’ll make up for it by bungee-jumping off the Burj Khalifa.

  • Cory N Jamie Gilliam says:

    I think I might do all these except work for Ramses Ramsey. I might have to kill him if he got in my face like the self righteous pineal foreskin that he is. I just don’t feel like getting sentenced for murder.

  • Mark Schieber says:

    feral*

  • ChuckQueen101 says:

    Really great stuff. Can’t believe N. Cage is in a move like this. He’s a good actor, but he will grab any part — maybe he needs the money – one to many luxury homes.

  • When I was in high school, a teacher told the class that ‘Even though the theology is somewhat flawed, if Left Behind doesn’t convince you to accept Christ, nothing will!’

    Having read it, I can safely say that nothing will convince me to accept Christ. That was the worst pack of drivel I’ve ever subjected myself to, and I’ve read 50 Shades of Grey.

    • Matthew Bade says:

      Was it Opposite Day when your teacher said that? Because Rapture “theology” is among the WORST reasons to accept Christ. It’s like saying the best reason to learn a foreign language is because it’s easy to do. There are so many good reasons to learn a language, but “easy” is most definitely not one of them.

      • Even if the theology of LaHaye and Jenkins were unassailable and irrefutable, I’d still reject it for the gleeful descriptions of the exquisite tortures unbelievers will face. The whole series is literally torture porn.

  • Kerry Thomas says:

    As a guy who I hosted a radio show with a while back said….” Is your ego so big that after 2 centuries Christ is coming back for you? ”

  • Dan Whitmarsh says:

    I think I would enjoy attending the movie, so long as I could sit in the back with my popcorn and loudly mock it. Maybe get some friends together and give it the MST3K treatment.

  • Bunny says:

    If you didn’t take a flask in with you…

  • SirThinkALot says:

    Am I weird that I actually WANT to see this movie? Even though the ‘rapture theology’ is completely ridiculous, tortured reading of scripture, its none-the-less a great, entertaining story. And it looks like this film is going to have some decent production value and is only going to sort-of follow the book. So it might just have potental to be entertaining

  • Stacey (the kids' Aunt Tasty) says:

    Worst. Books. Ever. Except maybe for anything by Nicholas Sparks.

  • Lana says:

    I did not know there was a new left behind movie. I only saw the first one, and it was terrible.

  • Al Cruise says:

    Most of the right wing fundies have a little money in their pockets, this movie will be a good avenue to get some of it. A marketer once told me how they market to certain Christian groups is by “playing to their fears”. Much of the in house commerce that goes on in the Fundamental Christian world is done that way.

  • AJ says:

    There will never be a better rapture move than “This Is The End”

  • gimpi1 says:

    As an aside, I have actually domesticated feral cats. It can take years, but I’ve gotten three to become happy house-cats. I’m working on number 4 now, and well into the 2nd year. Not much of a business model there, admittedly.

  • $105158253 says:

    I have no desire too see it either but too bad you didn’t think of ten things you’d rather do that tell us why you’d rather not see the movies. You probably spent the same amount of time. But hey I know you just had to get your bitterness and resentment out on display.

  • gimpi1 says:

    What on earth possessed Nicholas Cage to star in this? (Possessed… get it?)

    I can safely say I would rather have my two remaining wisdom teeth extracted than see this movie, and I generally like Nicholas Cage. (I even liked Captain Corelli’s Mandolin. That’s how much I like his movies!)

  • Harmony says:

    Is it insidiously ironic that, as a trans woman, I’m considering the CoverUpForChrist swim suits so I can go swimming? 😛

  • marikunin says:

    If I was forced to see this movie they’d have to let me bring a few beers…lol

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