Wait, TrumpCare will make America GREAT again?

Yes, in many ways it will.

I’ve been a life-long pessimist but recently have begun trying to change that. I think optimism can be a choice– we just have to learn how to creatively look at the bright side of any given situation.

So, I decided to stop being such a stick-in-the-mud when it comes to TrumpCare. Once I sat myself down and forced myself to be positive and optimistic, I was able to see past my own liberal blinders and realize that, yes, there are a variety of ways TrumpCare will make America GREAT again.

I hope you’ll join me in repenting of pessimism, a will consider with an open mind the 5 ways TrumpCare will make America GREAT again:

5. TrumpCare is GREAT for the poor.

This is because tax cuts for the rich ultimately mean more jobs and money for the rest of us– a scientifically proven concept of “trickle down” economics. Shifting wealth from the poor to the hands of the rich is the only proven method of eradicating poverty.

This healthcare bill is of particular benefit to the rich, and that’s really good for those of us who live little more than paycheck to paycheck. As we all know, instead of constantly expanding their salaries and buying luxury items like yachts and a 5th house, when the rich come into more excess they usually spend that money caring for the poor and creating more jobs for the poor.

As we all know, there’s no better way to help the poor than to give more money to rich people.  The more we give them, the GREATER America will become again.

4. TrumpCare is GREAT for doctors.

Thankfully, TrumpCare ends the era of doctors being forced to make difficult decisions and puts insurance companies back in control, where they should be.

Let’s be honest, letting you and your doctor call all the shots opens the door to a lot of mistakes and needless care– and making these decisions must be stressful for a physician.

In order to better protect patients and alleviate doctors from making decisions they shouldn’t be forced to make, we need to give insurance companies more control over what they’ll pay for and what they will not. Someone with a financial interest in your medical care is far more equipped, impartial, and will make far wiser decisions than your family doctor or surgeon, who really has no vested interest in things. Letting benevolent, level-headed bureaucrats make more healthcare related decisions will not only result in less stress for doctors, but will result in a higher level of care for everyone.

I can imagine every time an insurance adjustor makes a decision so that your doctor doesn’t have to, they’ll smile and be shouting, “Great!”

3. TrumpCare is GREAT for individual patients.

This is because our face-to-face time with doctors and staff will be longer and will no longer feel so rushed, and that’s important.

One of the drags of going to the doctor is that you just feel so rushed a lot of the time. I mean, they’re always late bringing you back, but once you’re there and the doctor comes into the room, it feels like there’s a secret stopwatch counting down the precious minutes you’ll have face to face with the doctor.

Thankfully, TrumpCare will fix this. With 24 million people estimated to lose their health coverage, those of us who keep ours won’t have to be competing for our doctor’s attention like we used to. Less patients means we’ll all get more face-to-face time with our doctor, and this is GREAT.

2. TrumpCare is GREAT for the business sector and those looking to start their own small business.

With 24 million people being dropped from health insurance, and a long list of illnesses that could now disqualify you from coverage, there’s some great opportunities for people to either start or grow their business– and the positive impact of this will ripple throughout the business world.

Always thought about becoming a funeral director? Business should be BOOMING with plenty of clients. Want to start a chain of businesses? Well, if that’s the case I would imagine opening a chain of hospice care centers would be a great way to go. Good with your hands? There’s always casket making. Shoot- you could even get into the timber business, sell it to the casket maker, who will then sell it to the funeral director, and then call yourself a job creator! (Or, if you’re like me and enjoyed playing with fire as a kid, you could always open up your own crematorium– it’s very low overhead and fast turn-over.)

Bottom line: business opportunities and growth will be GREAT!

1. TrumpCare will make America stand out as unique among the nations, and this too is GREAT!

Here in America we like to be trendsetters. We like to be leaders who refuse to do the silly things the rest of the world is doing. And you know what the rest of the world is doing?

They’re providing healthcare for their citizens, that’s what.

As the world continues to buy into this hippie nonsense that people should be able to get cancer treatment without having to file for bankruptcy or sell their house to do it, the United States will stand nearly alone as a bold leader and international trailblazer who has to moral courage to tell our nation’s poor and sick: You’re shit out of luck.

As more and more countries move to universal healthcare systems, America’s GREATNESS will be on full display for all to see.

…

See? All you whiney liberals who have been sitting around complaining about having to work, reading your communist manifestos, and protesting this or that (easy to do, when you don’t have a job to go to each day), have been so busy trying to oppose the Lord’s Anointed that you completely missed a step toward American greatness.

Typical.

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