Wait, TrumpCare will make America GREAT again?
Yes, in many ways it will.
I’ve been a life-long pessimist but recently have begun trying to change that. I think optimism can be a choice– we just have to learn how to creatively look at the bright side of any given situation.
So, I decided to stop being such a stick-in-the-mud when it comes to TrumpCare. Once I sat myself down and forced myself to be positive and optimistic, I was able to see past my own liberal blinders and realize that, yes, there are a variety of ways TrumpCare will make America GREAT again.
I hope you’ll join me in repenting of pessimism, a will consider with an open mind the 5 ways TrumpCare will make America GREAT again:
5. TrumpCare is GREAT for the poor.
This is because tax cuts for the rich ultimately mean more jobs and money for the rest of us– a scientifically proven concept of “trickle down” economics. Shifting wealth from the poor to the hands of the rich is the only proven method of eradicating poverty.
This healthcare bill is of particular benefit to the rich, and that’s really good for those of us who live little more than paycheck to paycheck. As we all know, instead of constantly expanding their salaries and buying luxury items like yachts and a 5th house, when the rich come into more excess they usually spend that money caring for the poor and creating more jobs for the poor.
As we all know, there’s no better way to help the poor than to give more money to rich people. The more we give them, the GREATER America will become again.
4. TrumpCare is GREAT for doctors.
Thankfully, TrumpCare ends the era of doctors being forced to make difficult decisions and puts insurance companies back in control, where they should be.
Let’s be honest, letting you and your doctor call all the shots opens the door to a lot of mistakes and needless care– and making these decisions must be stressful for a physician.
In order to better protect patients and alleviate doctors from making decisions they shouldn’t be forced to make, we need to give insurance companies more control over what they’ll pay for and what they will not. Someone with a financial interest in your medical care is far more equipped, impartial, and will make far wiser decisions than your family doctor or surgeon, who really has no vested interest in things. Letting benevolent, level-headed bureaucrats make more healthcare related decisions will not only result in less stress for doctors, but will result in a higher level of care for everyone.
I can imagine every time an insurance adjustor makes a decision so that your doctor doesn’t have to, they’ll smile and be shouting, “Great!”
3. TrumpCare is GREAT for individual patients.
This is because our face-to-face time with doctors and staff will be longer and will no longer feel so rushed, and that’s important.
One of the drags of going to the doctor is that you just feel so rushed a lot of the time. I mean, they’re always late bringing you back, but once you’re there and the doctor comes into the room, it feels like there’s a secret stopwatch counting down the precious minutes you’ll have face to face with the doctor.
Thankfully, TrumpCare will fix this. With 24 million people estimated to lose their health coverage, those of us who keep ours won’t have to be competing for our doctor’s attention like we used to. Less patients means we’ll all get more face-to-face time with our doctor, and this is GREAT.
2. TrumpCare is GREAT for the business sector and those looking to start their own small business.
With 24 million people being dropped from health insurance, and a long list of illnesses that could now disqualify you from coverage, there’s some great opportunities for people to either start or grow their business– and the positive impact of this will ripple throughout the business world.
Always thought about becoming a funeral director? Business should be BOOMING with plenty of clients. Want to start a chain of businesses? Well, if that’s the case I would imagine opening a chain of hospice care centers would be a great way to go. Good with your hands? There’s always casket making. Shoot- you could even get into the timber business, sell it to the casket maker, who will then sell it to the funeral director, and then call yourself a job creator! (Or, if you’re like me and enjoyed playing with fire as a kid, you could always open up your own crematorium– it’s very low overhead and fast turn-over.)
Bottom line: business opportunities and growth will be GREAT!
1. TrumpCare will make America stand out as unique among the nations, and this too is GREAT!
Here in America we like to be trendsetters. We like to be leaders who refuse to do the silly things the rest of the world is doing. And you know what the rest of the world is doing?
They’re providing healthcare for their citizens, that’s what.
As the world continues to buy into this hippie nonsense that people should be able to get cancer treatment without having to file for bankruptcy or sell their house to do it, the United States will stand nearly alone as a bold leader and international trailblazer who has to moral courage to tell our nation’s poor and sick: You’re shit out of luck.
As more and more countries move to universal healthcare systems, America’s GREATNESS will be on full display for all to see.
See? All you whiney liberals who have been sitting around complaining about having to work, reading your communist manifestos, and protesting this or that (easy to do, when you don’t have a job to go to each day), have been so busy trying to oppose the Lord’s Anointed that you completely missed a step toward American greatness.
Here’s how you fix health care in this country, and all points of this plan are required:
— Keep the ban on pre-existing conditions clauses (the one lone thing Obamacare got right).
— Eliminate the insurance mandate.
— Make it illegal for anyone to refuse care due to lack of insurance.
— Open up the sale of insurance across state lines for those who want it.
— Open up drug sales from Canada.
— Eliminate pharmaceutical patents and tighten FDA regulations on new drugs.
— Reform medical tort law so that payouts can only be the amount of the botched procedure, the amount of the procedures to fix it, and lost wages.
Do all of that, and this country will once again have the greatest health care system in the world. (And you’ll notice that the current GOP plan does only *one* of these things, meaning not enough… and a lot more that would have negated even *those* positive points.)
I like the part where the doctors work for free. Of course, I’m not a doctor. They might not be as thrilled, though.
Doctors wouldn’t work for free.
I know. That’s why your plan is dead in the water.
Satire at its best.
Took me a while to realize it was satire.I was actually starting to get annoyed…
This is great parody. Sadly, I’ve actually seen some of these arguments from people… people who meant them. Truly, there is no satire that someone won’t mean in earnest.
I don’t know who said this but the comment went something like this – The difference in capitalism and communism is that in capitalism one man takes undue advantage of another and in communism it’s the other way around. In one care system the corporates grow fat on the system and in the other individuals suck the system dry. So if America is to be great again the number of honest people has to increase.
And I do not know any person with integrity who sought the follow the truth (thirst for righteousness) and did not accept Jesus as God. And I’m an Indian from the same country that Gandhi fought (without fighting as he would say) to establish.
Let’s hear it for the god of wealth and power we really worship! Not that impractical and whiny snowflake claptrap of the Gospel of Matthew that gets trotted out when these issues are raised. Worst of all, the outright repulsive socialism of Acts 4:34-35– “There was not a needy person among them, for as many as had houses and lands sold them, bringing the proceeds and laying them at the feet of the apostles. Who gave to each as any had need.” How un-American.
At first glance this seemed OK, but as I read further, I realized that you are actually joking! Good one!
It is impossible to justify your points at this time. When the bill is final after the Senate and the House agree upon it then and only then will you be able to critique it. I feel you may have to re-write your blog.
However, some things are true.
1. We will not have to “wait until it is passed to know what’s in it” Nancy Pelosi
2. We will be able to keep our doctor-failed promise of President Obama.
3. Premiums will go down as competition will drive down costs – prediction of Bob Shiloh.
People who are afraid of this change might consider taking some responsibility for their own health and choose what they eat more carefully and stop abusing their bodies with drugs. If they did the number of truly sick people would decline and the health care system would not be overwhelmed. Every weekend hospital emergency rooms are busy treating drug overdoses. Some poor individuals visit twice in one night. This unfortunate state of affairs is not a political problem it is a social problem.
Whatever motivation may have come from a desire to erase Obama’s legacy, I think the main one was that this plan amounts to a kind of tax cut for the rich. And it will make it easier to pass a tax bill with more tax cuts, mostly for the rich.
Love this, Benjamin. Unfortunately I doubt the conservatives will understand the sarcasm and think twice about what harm they have done to 24 million people. And I wonder how many churches will step in and pick up the pieces. My church won’t. The people in my church are very loving. When I was uninsured and broke my hip, it got fixed but I couldn’t afford to go to a rehabilitation center so I had to go from the hospital to home. My friend from whom I rented a room needed help taking care of me and our church stepped in big time. However when it comes to money they aren’t very generous. We are small and financially strapped so the vestry (of which I am a member) would rather use what they consider limited resources on “keeping our doors open.” I keep saying that we need to live out a theology of abundance not scarcity. They come back with we must be good stewards of God’s money and save it, not spend it. Even the one outreach we do is not funded by the church budget, but by individuals. This is in addition to paying their pledge every month.
this was pretty funny